o my nurse calls me and says, “[NAME REDACTED] just called. She says the medicines are controlling her nausea enough to stop throwing up, but she’s still too nauseous to eat much. She wants you to write a note to her probation officer telling him it’s okay for her to smoke marijuana so to expect it in her urine drug test.”

And, just to be clear, I do not live in a state where medical marijuana is legal.